3 Tips to Beat Imposter Syndrome
Learn These Three Tools to Get You Out the Door and onto the Floor of an Event Where You Feel Like a Complete Imposter
I thought just because I didn't attend Wharton, I shouldn't attend a Wharton Business Women's event that was open to all women.
A listener of my podcast, Sarah, was attending the one-day seminar at Wharton and said that I should go and we could meet. I was nervous about this because I didn't feel like I belonged, and the only business formal outfit I had juuuuuuust fit. So I said a prayer every time I went to the bathroom that the zipper to my skirt wouldn't break or a button on my suit jacket didn't bust off.
What I learned was you get to focus on what you want to focus on.
Ask Yourself Why You're Going Five Times Before You Attend An Event
If you don't do this, you may worry about something that may not happen.
Here I was spending so much time telling myself how everyone would think I'm not smart because I didn't go to Wharton that I wasn't always fully present. If you go into an event asking yourself five times, why are you going, why is that important, and why is that important ... you'll have a different mindset at the event.
Get clear on these three steps, and you'll attend an event with confidence instead of fear.
#1. Have A Visual Cue Reminding You Why You're There
Wear your watch on your opposite wrist to remind you why so you don't let your mind get hijacked.
While I thought that people thought I didn't belong, they were most likely asking if I went to Wharton as a way to connect. Maybe they were nervous too. Perhaps they were there feeling like an imposter too.
Remind yourself that you can not read minds, people do not think about you as much as you think they do, and you can't control how other people think.
#2. You Belong - Don't Hide
When you are hiding behind someone else or something, you don't let the world see you.
When I said, "No, I did not go to Wharton, but my husband went to INSEAD, which is an international partner school of Wharton," I was hiding behind my husband. Classic imposter response, when I could have said: “a listener of my podcast invited me” and invited and shifted the conversation.
Remind yourself that only you decide if you don't belong, show up as you do belong, and remember that you are enough.
#3. View A Nerve-Wracking Event With A Roadtrip Mindset
Take a "let's see what happens here mindset", so you're not tied to an outcome.
How about getting curious and asking yourself, "who will I meet, what can I learn, and what funny stories will come out of it"? I met a man named Jeff, who was there as a representative for his company at Happy Hour. Jeff became my first life coaching client.
He started a local chapter of a national organization which my husband joined. And now one of my husband's closest friends is a man he met through the chapter Jeff started.
You never know who you will meet, so get clear on why you are going to an event, remind yourself you belong, and go in with a curious mindset.